Celebrating Meg Cordery’s Certification as an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist
There are moments in this work that feel especially meaningful and celebrating the growth and milestones of the therapists I supervise is absolutely one of them. It is with so much pride that I share that share that from September 2025, Meg Cordery of Meg Cordery Therapy officially became a Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFCT).
Certification in EFT is no small feat. It reflects not only advanced clinical skill, but a deep commitment to understanding attachment, emotional safety, and the courage it takes to walk alongside couples in their most vulnerable moments. Meg brings all of this, and more, into the therapy space.
To honour her achievement, I invited Meg to reflect on her journey into EFT, what the model has taught her, and what she sees in the couples she works with every day.
From “Something’s Missing” to Finding Home in EFT
Before EFT, Meg had already trained extensively in the Gottman Method and found it to be valuable. But something wasn’t quite landing when working with deeply distressed couples.
“Proposing to a couple who do not feel emotionally safe and are stuck in a negative conflict cycle that they could spend more time together and share about themselves in order to strengthen their friendship system (a core component of the Gottman Sound Relationship House) seemed counter intuitive.”
She began to feel that there was a missing piece — the absence of emotional safety between many couples she worked with.
“It felt as if there were a need to bring some safety in and frame the challenges experienced in a non-blaming way, to help them make sense of how they got here and what sustains it.”
This longing for safety, meaning, and non-blaming understanding is often what draws therapists to EFT.
When EFT Truly “Clicked”: Rewriting the Story of Dependence
For Meg, a pivotal shift came through the concept of functional dependence.
“Re-writing the narrative of dependence as toxic and bad to a narrative of being human and universal attachment needs — cradle to the grave.”
This reframe is at the heart of EFT. Rather than seeing needs as weakness, EFT honours them as deeply human. Meg speaks beautifully about wanting to support both co-regulation and caregiving, alongside self-regulation and self-care.
“It feels really important for me to support others in growing their capacity for co-regulation and activating their caregiving system; as much as the capacity for self regulation and self care.”
What She Loves Most About EFT with Couples
Ask any EFT therapist why they do this work and you’ll likely hear something about safety, connection, and meaning. Meg captures this perfectly:
“Being able to co-create a safe haven where couples can feel truly heard, understood and where each person gets a message that they matter, their pain matters is incredibly rewarding.”
She also highlights something deeply transformational in EFT, the way it transforms shame:
“Validating strategies that for a long time have likely felt troubling as a person’s best attempt to cope can be truly liberating. Shame dies when told in safe spaces!”
A sentence worth sitting with.
What Couples Struggle With Most and How EFT Helps
Meg sees, as many of us do, that stepping out of long-standing protective patterns takes time and courage.
“Building trust that one can reach for their partner and they will respond; and also heal long-standing attachment injuries can be a very slow process for some.”
This can feel especially hard when couples desperately want things to change. EFT meets this struggle with compassion and hope:
“EFT helps to acknowledge and validate the struggle as well as the health in motivation for change.”
She also beautifully names something EFT does so powerfully, how it dismantles the idea that relationship distress means incompatibility:
“EFT debunks the myth of incompatibility and shines a light on how even the most seemingly well matched couples can be pulled into negative cycles at times.”
And importantly:
“What makes relationships fulfilling and enduring is the ability to be an agent of change, to learn how to repair quickly and choose connection time and time again.”
Advice for Therapists Beginning Their EFT Journey
I asked Meg what advice she has for other therapists starting out with the EFT model:
“Spend time reflecting on and applying the tools, i.e. cycle breakers or negotiated time out, for yourself and in your own relationship. In doing this I have come to better understand my own attachment strategies, the places where I felt stuck and how I can try doing something different. I feel this really helped me to see how effective the model can be in breaking negative cycles, both within and between.”
She also recommends one of her favourite learning supports:
“Secure Love by Julie Menanno… Listening to the podcast on my way to and from work helped me feel in the best frame to begin working with relationships, particularly those I felt most challenged by.”
Looking for EFT Supervision?
If you’re a therapist training in or practising Emotionally Focused Therapy and seeking supportive, attachment-informed supervision, I offer EFT supervision for individuals and groups. Get in touch to explore whether we’re the right fit.